Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – what does it mean, and how can I benefit from it?

Simply put, EQ means the ability to understand and manage your own emotions. People with a high degree of EQ know what they are feeling, what their feelings mean, and how these emotions can affect other people and vice versa. We all already know this, everyone thinks. Do you? Easy to check. Just ask yourself five simple questions and be honest with your answers.

Do you have a good understanding of:

• How your emotions affect your thoughts, behaviour, communication, actions, at work, at home?
• The emotions, needs, and concerns of other people?
• How to develop and maintain good relationships?
• How to manage your emotions, so they affect you and the people around you, at work, at home, in a way that is in everyone’s best interest?
• How your emotions impact on your work performance, motivation, stress, body language, well-being, and career plan thoughts, e.g.?

If your answers to all the questions above is an unconditional YES - CONGRATULATIONS! You are superhuman, a perfect human being. You obviously always manage your emotions and behaviour optimally.

For all the less perfect readers, I kindly ask you to check your behaviour. In hindsight, can you recognise any situations, where you feel you could have done better? I did my behaviour analysis and found many situations, where, both at work and home, my behaviour was far from optimal. I realised that if I had had a better understanding of how my EQ can affect my behaviour, I certainly, many times could how done better, should have done better. Below just some examples. See if you can find anything familiar to you?

• I often spontaneously speak out in situations, when instead, I should keep quiet and listen. I realised I have a bad habit of interrupting people before they have a chance to state their case properly.
• When I am emotionally too attached to my case, I sometimes fail to pay proper attention to what the other party says, because I am so eager to prove my point of view.
• I don’t remember to give enough credit and say thank you, to persons who perform well. Way too often, I am too preoccupied with my own thoughts and issues.
• I know people both appreciate and expect being asked for their opinion about matters concerning them. Yet I sometimes forget to do it, just because I am in a hurry or feel it is not necessary this time.
• After a “bad day at work”, I sometimes can’t help this showing in my mood when I came home.
• I could more often say “I am sorry” and “I apologise” when I mess things up, (because I do). 

Nowadays, new EQ coaches pop up like mushrooms in the rain, offering their services, so obviously, there is a need. But this is not nuclear science; everyone can self-study the concept of EQ. Start by writing EQ in Google. After reading a few hours about emotional intelligence, you will have a basic understanding of what EQ is. You already know a little better, how your emotions can affect your actions and other people and how to consciously pay more attention to managing your emotions and behaviour “more optimally”. Do not stop here. The more you study this topic, the better your understanding of your EQ will become, and the more likely you will learn to manage your feelings and behaviour in a way that is in your best interest.